jeethree: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] jeethree at 02:19pm on 17/12/2008
12. Make a fishing pole with mistletoe attachment- everyone is game, including your ex's fiance
11. Make large sized stickies (or bumper stickers) proclaiming GOOD or BAD- then go to your local shopping outlet/mall/ park and stick them on the children based on your judgment (or adults).  Proclaim you are a secret agent for Santa-a member of the surveillance team. 
10. Eat holiday/religious foodstuff lewdly.  With sucking or licking noise- be graphic as possible. 
9. Bowl with fruitcake using your neighbor's nutcracker decorators for pins.  Their driveway is the alley.
8. Alienate everyone by sending out a form letter greeting- Dear __(insert your name here)_____ 
7. Glomp a Santa (including cutting in line at the mall)
6. Make cookie-cutout treats with Crisco- serve.  Bonus points if you somehow get payment in return.
5. Chase people around with an old record player (with record), trying to convince them to listen to the religious/holiday song backward- it contains secret capitalistic messages!
4. Go to a religious leader.  Play the "why" game (holiday edition) for as long as you can.
3. Pick up people in bars using religious or holiday references- attempt to be blasphemous as possible.
2.  Demand that people celebrate your holiday and only your TRUE holiday!  If they don't proclaim there is a war on it.  If people still don't listen to you go on national television and call the offenders demeaning names.  Just you wait, in a few years someone might hire you to be part of their news team.
1.  Take this list seriously in any way, shape, or form- and attempt any of the above.


Hey, it could be worse.  Hugs to all.

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